


Behind The Bean

by Haberdasher



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Crack, Chicago (City), Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Epistolary, Ficlet, Gen, Illinois, Letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 09:20:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21473677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haberdasher/pseuds/Haberdasher
Summary: In a universe where Good Omens centers around Chicago rather than London, both Aziraphale and Crowley try to justify the creation of the Bean to their respective head offices.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	Behind The Bean

In a universe in which Good Omens centers around Chicago instead of London...

.

_To Whom It May Concern:_

_Below entails a brief memorandum justifying the creation of Cloud Gate, a piece of artwork in Millennium Park more popularly known as “the Bean.”_

_The reflective surface, rather than creating something to distract from one’s surroundings, instead invites the viewer to both metaphorically and literally reflect upon them. Its placement in a city park <strike>by</strike> near Lake Michigan lets Cloud Gate show off what natural beauty the city of Chicago still has to offer while letting it blend together with the marvels that humanity has created around the park. Its many angles and facets put surroundings that may be familiar in a new light and let one appreciate the wonders that surround them. Additionally, the very name “Cloud Gate” invites viewers to look upon the heavens in particular, and is subtly reminiscent of the gates of Heaven, subconsciously reminding humanity of Heaven’s importance in the world around them._

_In short, Cloud Gate’s presence on Earth subtly but surely assists the promotion of Heaven’s cause among humanity._

_Very sincerely,_

_The Principality Aziraphale_

.

_Dear whoever,_

_Here’s why the Bean’s great for us and you lot should all be thanking me for coming up with it:_

_All tourists do with it is make funny faces and take pictures of themselves reflected in it. If that’s not vanity right there, I don’t know what is._

_A handful of purists still call the thing “Cloud Gate” like the artist did, but everyone else just calls it “the Bean” because that’s what it looks like, and whenever it comes up the two sides fight, and that sort of mindless fighting is exactly what we’re supposed to be encouraging, after all._

_Speaking of fighting, some humans love it and some humans hate it and both sides won’t shut up about it and it cost the city a lot of money it probably could have spent actually helping people in the city instead of buying a giant reflective jelly bean. You want arguments and anger? Well, there you go, plenty stirred up for you right there._

_Also, have you _seen_ what Anish Kapoor has gotten into since? Of _course_ I worked with the guy!_

_In conclusion, you’re welcome._

_-Crowley_

.

In actuality, in this universe as in our own, the creation of Cloud Gate, popularly known as “the Bean,” was entirely driven by humanity. Anish Kapoor came up with it all by himself, without assistance either angelic or demonic in nature.

But you can’t blame Aziraphale and Crowley for _trying_.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, consider following me on tumblr at [haberdashing](https://haberdashing.tumblr.com/)!


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